I read an article today about whether or not a personal trainer should have a six pack. (Strange reading but it was well recommended.) While I agree with what the author had to say it was the way he said it that struck a chord with me. He started the article describing a trainer who he used to work with. The man did not look like what you expect to see in a person trainer at a typical gym. He was overweight, looked unhealthy, complained to his coworkers of constant fatigue, and was constantly drinking what everyone thought was grape Kool-aid. The author couldn’t understand why this guy was hired by his gym and why he was as successful with his clients as he seemed to be. What he later found out was that this man had been in fantastic shape and was active in many sports until he was attacked by cancer. The “grape Kool-aid” was a special drink to help him fight the nausea and fatigue that were a side effect of the cancer treatments.
This brings me to the point of today’s post (I know, a lot quicker than normal). We’ve all heard the phrase, “do not judge a book by its cover.” This is just another reminder of that. That overweight woman you see stuffing her face at the Pizza Hut may be suffering from an eating disorder just like the anorexic girl you see furiously sprinting on the treadmill. Neither one has the control she needs to fight the impulses, but one is seen as lazy and a slob while the other is looked on with sympathy and offered help. The woman flirting with every man in the room may be extremely insecure about herself and needs that attention to overcome her own self image. The flirting gets her the attention from the men, but ridicule from women, and that just perpetuates her poor self image. That shy girl that won’t look at you may really want to be friends but just doesn’t know how to start a conversation. Instead of approaching her and making an effort to get to know her she is branded as a snob and ignored which does nothing to help her break out of her shell.
We all look at people we don’t know and make snap judgments about who they are. Most of the time when we take the time to get to know someone we find they are vastly different from what we originally thought. This can actually go both ways. The person we thought we knew and trusted can sometimes turn out to be shallow and self centered. (I know this from direct experience.) Just like in the reverse scenario we have to be open to seeing what is really in front of us and base our choices on reality, not first impressions. So many times in the case of discovering that someone we thought was a good person is really not we refuse to see the truth until it smacks us upside the head with a closed fist or a humiliating comment in public.
There is no shame in admitting we were wrong in our first impression of a person. The only shame is refusing to admit it.
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