What footprints do you leave?

I think the thought of the day is about trust. It’s not because of anything specific that has happened recently, but a dream last night reminded me how hard it is to rebuild trust once it has been damaged. I’m not going to go into any details of this dream because, frankly, it doesn’t matter. What does matter was the realization that something that happened some time ago is still, subconsciously, having an impact.

Trust is hard to earn but easy to lose.  One simple word, carelessly spoken can collapse a mountain of trust. Teachers are especially susceptible to this. If you think about it there is probably still something a teacher said or did that you remember to this day, that has affected your life and your ability to trust. That teacher may not even remember what they said or did, they may not even remember you, but that one careless comment affects your ability to trust even now.  

For example – a teacher, trying to encourage a student to reach beyond what they know they can do refuses to accept a homework assignment for something as simple as a line missing in a certain place. That student may not see that the teacher is trying to encourage, she just sees all of her hard work on the assignment down the drain. Instead of trying to do better the student may give up, thinking it is hopeless to try. One careless moment from a teacher trying to help a good student do better can ruin the trust between the student and all teachers from that point on.

The same is true of leaders in other aspects of your life. Someone you look up to, a mentor, someone you trust to be looking out for you, that someone says or does something and without even realizing it destroys your trust. The problem really comes to a head when you discover you can’t trust yourself either. You start to question whether that chance comment is really true or not. Maybe you really aren’t as good at math as you thought; maybe you really aren’t as good at that one skill you were proud of as you thought. That one careless comment can turn a person away from a path they were forging well to a safer, more traveled road that lacks the challenges and excitement that makes life worthwhile.

People think of trust in relationships all of the time. You have to be able to trust your spouse or significant other to have a fulfilling relationship beyond the physical attraction. How can you give all of yourself to another when you don’t trust that other to take good care of what you offer? How can you have a true and mutually beneficial relationship when one or the other is not able to give fully of themselves? How do you, or can you, recreate it once it is gone?

I guess the question I have is can you really rebuild once trust has been damaged? That brings me full circle to the dream last night. I thought I had worked my way past the trust issue in this situation but I wonder if my subconscious is trying to tell me I’m not quite there yet.

If there is any advice I can give to whoever might be reading this it would be this – Tread lightly and carefully. You never know what imprint a careless step might make in another’s life.