Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Patience (Not the Guns & Roses Song)


Patience – The quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like. An ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay. Quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence.

Why the definition of patience today? Because it is something I need to learn and practice.

I’ll admit I’ve had things pretty easy in life. In school all I had to do was the bare minimum to get good grades. Learning was easy and required really nothing more than reading, doing once, and absorbing a concept. It wasn’t that hard and I didn’t really have to put much effort into it.

Patience is something that is harder to learn. There is no book to read or exercises to practice to help me learn this concept. When I decide I want something I want it now. Waiting is not my strong point and I get frustrated when I don’t learn something right away. Don’t get me wrong, I’m Basset Hound stubborn and I won’t ever give up, but I think that frustration makes it more difficult for me to pick up on something that I don’t get the first time.

Hence, patience is the word of the day. It’s something I need to learn and practice.

I’m surrounded by a lot of patient people. At work, at home, at school, at the gym. Those are the people I need to learn from.  I admire them their ability to keep their frustration in check, their knowledge about when to keep going and when to sit back and wait, their ability to trust that what they want will eventually come.

So if you see me watching you, know that I am not trying to stare in a creepy way. I’m trying to learn patience and your example is the best way I know how.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Random ramblings from the Breadbox


Well, once again it is Friday and I sit here pondering the week gone by. It has been an interesting week here in the Breadbox, with strange highs and even stranger lows. I learned a lot of new things both internal and external, but that is nothing new. A week that goes by without learning something is a week spent in a coma. Recognizing those learning opportunities can be a learning experience in itself.

Just what did I learn this week?
  • ·         Mother nature doesn’t care about your plans to hike Tablerock on Sunday. If she wants to pour down rain, she is going to pour down rain and no amount of bitching is going to change that.
  • ·         Eating an entire pizza by yourself in one weekend WILL give you a stomach ache.
  • ·         I learned that most people are nice and won’t bite if you talk to them.
  • ·         I learned how to add text to an image in an A.I. file and how to convert that file to a PDF and JPEG for use in other programs.
  • ·         Sometimes dogs snore just as bad as ex-husbands, but throwing a pillow at a dog works much better than at the ex.
  • ·         I learned a lesson in perseverance, we may talk more on that subject later.
  • ·         Bear crawls are a lot harder than they look and they look pretty damn funny.
  • ·         First dates will not happen during hunting season no matter how well you get along during the rest of the year.
  • ·         Sometimes the things that hurt the most at the moment are the things that are best for us in the long run.

There were more, I’m sure, but I’m at the end of a good book right now and it is calling me away from my writing. I do need to make sure I finish it soon since NaNoWriMo is coming up in a little over a week and finding  time to write 2500 words a day in between work, school, and a slowly blooming social life is going to be difficult enough without the end of a good book distracting my attention.

What I am working on for this year is very different from anything else I’ve ever written. I’m not even sure, myself where it is going to go. As usual I just have a rough idea of the plot and a series of characters who try to keep me up at night guessing how they may handle certain situations that I think they are going to encounter.  Actually, it has been really hard to not start writing this one until November 1st but I’m trying to play by the rules. If you don’t know what NaNoWriMo is, Google it, you might find it interesting. If you are participating in it this year let me know and we can connect over there. I’d love to read what you all are working on and get your thoughts on the whole process.

I guess it is time to wrap up this little ramble. Reading back through it I can’t really find any central theme tonight which tells me I’m probably too tired to focus on any one specific topic with any degree of insight or intelligence.

So for now, my friend, all of us here at the Breadbox wish you sweet dreams and a good night.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Breaking down walls (AKA - Lessons learned in boot camp)


Fair warning – what you are about to read may very well be the inarticulate ramblings of endorphins and/or exhaustion. Or it could be clarity of mind brought on by sweating out the clutter and toxic thoughts.  Who knows, I’ll let you, my intelligent readers, decide for yourselves.

I wrote two words on my hands today – truth and believe. They are words that I need to remind myself of regularly and I’ll explain why shortly.

While I was in Savannah recently at a Marketing conference I heard some pretty profound words in one of the seminars. “You can’t keep doing the same thing and expect different results.” That really defines the last six months or so of my life. Back in May I made a change that, to some, might not seem that big. For a girl who has been known to hyperventilate when the label on her vitamins changes this was a BIG change. I knew it needed to be done, though. For six years now I’ve been doing the same thing and expecting different results, it was time to take a step in a different direction.

Since then I have embraced other small changes and overcome some pretty good sized challenges. But I still struggle, daily, with the biggest challenge of all, believing in myself.

I could take the easy way out here and pass the blame onto others. I could say it is the result of being the fat kid in grade school or the uncoordinated geek in junior high. I could blame it on being unknown in high school or on the people I’ve looked up to who, unknowingly, said things that caused me to question whether I was good enough. I could blame it on someone who promised in front of our friends and family to love and respect me and then abandoned me.

But those are just excuses, ways to avoid the truth.

The truth is the only thing holding me back is me. If I believe I can do it then I can.

Are you starting to see the point behind the two words I wrote?

One of the changes I’ve made recently was in my approach to being fit. I’ve always been a bit of a loner when it comes to exercise, hiding behind closed curtains while working out. I didn’t want anyone to see the fat girl being foolish. About three weeks ago I took another step down the path of change. I doubt many will understand just how big of a step it was, but believe me it was HUGE in my world. It was a boot camp, exercising, in public, with other people, people who are in really incredible shape, three nights a week.

The first night my biggest challenge was just getting out of the car, facing a group of strangers, and showing them a side of me I always tried to hide from everyone. I won’t say the actual exercises were easy. I left that night and every time since then with every muscle shaking and sweat pouring off of me. But the hard part was, and still is, just getting out of the car and walking into the room.

So, today, when that little voice in the back of my head said I didn’t really belong with that group, that I would just be laughed at, and I should just give up I wrote “truth” on one hand. That word is there to remind me of the truth.

The truth is no one who matters is laughing at me.

The truth is I belong where ever I believe I belong.

The truth is I CAN do anything I set my mind to.

The truth is I just need to believe I can do it.

Truth and believe, two little words that I need to remember.

Truth and believe are two little, but powerful, words that I wrote on my hands (yes, I can sometimes write with my left hand). When I was struggling to keep going at a point where I might normally have given up I glanced at those two words hidden in my hands and pushed myself past that imaginary wall I have built for myself.

It makes me wonder what other walls I can break down if I can just remember those two words. What more could I accomplish, what dreams could I make come true?

But that will have to be tomorrow. For now, dear reader, I’m going to take my tired shoulders, aching back, and spaghetti legs to go soak in a hot bubble bath. Two little words may have helped me break down a wall today, but when you hit a wall, whether it breaks or not, you are going to feel it in places you never expected.

Good night all and sweet dreams.

H