Fair warning – what you are about to read may very well be the inarticulate ramblings of endorphins and/or exhaustion. Or it could be clarity of mind brought on by sweating out the clutter and toxic thoughts. Who knows, I’ll let you, my intelligent readers, decide for yourselves.
I wrote two words on my hands today – truth and believe. They are words that I need to remind myself of regularly and I’ll explain why shortly.
While I was in Savannah recently at a Marketing conference I heard some pretty profound words in one of the seminars. “You can’t keep doing the same thing and expect different results.” That really defines the last six months or so of my life. Back in May I made a change that, to some, might not seem that big. For a girl who has been known to hyperventilate when the label on her vitamins changes this was a BIG change. I knew it needed to be done, though. For six years now I’ve been doing the same thing and expecting different results, it was time to take a step in a different direction.
Since then I have embraced other small changes and overcome some pretty good sized challenges. But I still struggle, daily, with the biggest challenge of all, believing in myself.
I could take the easy way out here and pass the blame onto others. I could say it is the result of being the fat kid in grade school or the uncoordinated geek in junior high. I could blame it on being unknown in high school or on the people I’ve looked up to who, unknowingly, said things that caused me to question whether I was good enough. I could blame it on someone who promised in front of our friends and family to love and respect me and then abandoned me.
But those are just excuses, ways to avoid the truth.
The truth is the only thing holding me back is me. If I believe I can do it then I can.
Are you starting to see the point behind the two words I wrote?
One of the changes I’ve made recently was in my approach to being fit. I’ve always been a bit of a loner when it comes to exercise, hiding behind closed curtains while working out. I didn’t want anyone to see the fat girl being foolish. About three weeks ago I took another step down the path of change. I doubt many will understand just how big of a step it was, but believe me it was HUGE in my world. It was a boot camp, exercising, in public, with other people, people who are in really incredible shape, three nights a week.
The first night my biggest challenge was just getting out of the car, facing a group of strangers, and showing them a side of me I always tried to hide from everyone. I won’t say the actual exercises were easy. I left that night and every time since then with every muscle shaking and sweat pouring off of me. But the hard part was, and still is, just getting out of the car and walking into the room.
So, today, when that little voice in the back of my head said I didn’t really belong with that group, that I would just be laughed at, and I should just give up I wrote “truth” on one hand. That word is there to remind me of the truth.
The truth is no one who matters is laughing at me.
The truth is I belong where ever I believe I belong.
The truth is I CAN do anything I set my mind to.
The truth is I just need to believe I can do it.
Truth and believe, two little words that I need to remember.
Truth and believe are two little, but powerful, words that I wrote on my hands (yes, I can sometimes write with my left hand). When I was struggling to keep going at a point where I might normally have given up I glanced at those two words hidden in my hands and pushed myself past that imaginary wall I have built for myself.
It makes me wonder what other walls I can break down if I can just remember those two words. What more could I accomplish, what dreams could I make come true?
But that will have to be tomorrow. For now, dear reader, I’m going to take my tired shoulders, aching back, and spaghetti legs to go soak in a hot bubble bath. Two little words may have helped me break down a wall today, but when you hit a wall, whether it breaks or not, you are going to feel it in places you never expected.
Good night all and sweet dreams.
H
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